Sunday, 1 February 2009

strange phenomenon

"You expect me to walk 45km to work!" I was fuming. This prick was supposed to be my loving supportive spouse. Yeah right! I slammed the car door and scowled blackly at the departing vehicle. Stomping along the road, trying to hitch a lift, my mind played with all the angry worst scenarios I could conjure. Car after car whizzed past me. They could probably see my scowl from three corners away.

"Shit, I am going to be late, I will never get there and I will get the sack." After the umpteenth car sped past I began to panic. What if's wreaked havoc with my emotions. "OK this is not getting me anywhere, I have to calm down and picture myself getting a lift." I talked myself into some semblance of calm. Taking a deep breath in through my nostrils, I let the anger slip away.

Lifting my shoulders and walking tall I strode with a lighter gait. Another kilometre slipped by. A car rapidly approached and passed me.

"It's ok, I just have to be patient, the universe provides…" the brake lights lit up on the car. They stopped and reversed.

"We don't usually pick up hitchhikers, but we had this feeling we had to pick you up. Hop in." The car smelled musty with that 'self sufficient we make our own goat milk yoghurt' smell.

"Thanks" that was the sum of our conversation. I gazed out the window as the car gathered speed. What the hell was that out in the paddock? I wiped the chid fingerprints from the glass, looked away and back again to make sure I wasn't hallucinating then stared until we turned a corner and I lost sight of it.

In the middle of the field stood a lone eucalyptus tree. Above it were two transparent, orange, completely still flames. At least flame is the closest word to describe what I was looking at. The one on the left was slightly smaller and they fitted together to form a shape like the flame on a candle. They started about a metre above the treetop and stood three and four metres high possibly a little larger.

I was glad for the silence in the car so I could gape in wonder at this phenomena. What was it? I feel like it was a ps to my request for a lift but who knows… you?

White rainbows... arc of light!

The fog was thick. My shoulders were burning with the strain of peering forward over the steering wheel trying to see something to guide the way I was going. My heart was pounding with fear as I manoeuvred the heavy car through the mud. These roads were treacherous in full daylight. It was only 8am so the sun was somewhere behind us. The roads became thick sticky orange mud the minute a drop of rain fell. All the warnings rang in my head "Don't let the engine revs drop or you're stuck there till spring". So here I was trying to drive the kids to town in a fog and the mud and no way to tell where we were and worse to come. The final stretch before the sealed road ran between two lakes. A narrow strip with the water lapping the edge and I had no way of seeing it. I couldn't stop or go back or turn, I just had to plough on through and hope for the best. I was nearly in tears and the children were scared, so I sang. The first squeaky nursery rhyme made the kids giggle and broke some of the tension. Then I saw it, an arc of light in the fog ahead of me. Pure white and glowing. Could there be such a thing as a white rainbow. I didn't have the headlights on and I figured the fog was too thick for the bow to have colours. I suddenly felt very peaceful and relaxed. The white arc stayed ahead of the car for a few moments then disappeared. I realised I was on the last part of the narrow strip between the lakes and as we approached the sealed road the sun broke through the fog.


The room was quiet, everyone busy writing. My body began to sway gently from side to side without me consciously aware of it. I became aware of looking down at the part in my hair between the tightly woven plaits. Then the roof of the school and the town and and and. I was actually immobile yet everything sped past me faster and faster. The state, the country, the earth, planets and stars all travelling to an horizon point like watching everything through the wrong end of a telescope. Then everything came to an end and I became aware of a questioning and of being on the edge of everything. I knew if I took a step forward then I would know everything. I was terrified in the same instant of being back in my grade four desk. Too young for such a gift?


The pulsating waves were big and gentle. Rolling through my relaxed body. I felt warm and peaceful. My head lifted from the pillow and my body lifted too. If my head had been a pencil it would have drawn an arc from my pillow to the point at which I was perfectly upright. My body had not bent at all. I felt a calling and wanted to go but my foot got stuck in my foot. Fear gripped me and I was back in myself the same instant. Imagination, hallucination or just fear holding me back?